This post is in response to September being suicide prevention awareness month and as a companion poem to my last post as its opposite.

I wanted some words that tackles the crushing, crippling darkness felt when the liar that is depression has a hold of you.


Sometimes nothing is enough


sunlight bruises


the clear sky

a scream

torn from the throat


you hear the war songs

in the birdsong


you see the wind shaking

not shimmying the trees

you hear the head snap

on its thin stem


you wake up crying

someone was holding you

you lost them by waking


in a wet suit

a size too small

lined with fibre glass

zip you cannot reach


your soul squirming

in the digestive soup of

a stalled metamorphosis


your blood brain barrier

swarming with tiny

man of war jellyfish


flickering neon

pinpricks from their

little lightnings forking

deep into your mind


sometimes you long for winter

its slowness

its whiteness

its numbness


sometimes the heart is in pieces

the broken glass

of a shattered bus shelter

that no bus comes to


you watch the rainbows

draining down the drain

and you want to grab their coat tails

get dragged down with them


a piano played on the seabed

a kite that won’t lift despite the storm

a buried balloon


some days

certain mornings

nothing can be saved


the cold dark

curled against you

its sandpaper tongue

licking the length of your back

slowly revealing

the peaks of your vertebrae


a broken sparrow

circles in the dust

on the floor of your chest


the thin peeling walls

uncurl as they watch





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