Depression

002

This post is in response to September being suicide prevention awareness month and as a companion poem to my last post as its opposite.

I wanted some words that tackles the crushing, crippling darkness felt when the liar that is depression has a hold of you.

 

Sometimes nothing is enough

 

sunlight bruises

 

the clear sky

a scream

torn from the throat

 

you hear the war songs

in the birdsong

 

you see the wind shaking

not shimmying the trees

you hear the head snap

on its thin stem

 

you wake up crying

someone was holding you

you lost them by waking

 

in a wet suit

a size too small

lined with fibre glass

zip you cannot reach

 

your soul squirming

in the digestive soup of

a stalled metamorphosis

 

your blood brain barrier

swarming with tiny

man of war jellyfish

 

flickering neon

pinpricks from their

little lightnings forking

deep into your mind

 

sometimes you long for winter

its slowness

its whiteness

its numbness

 

sometimes the heart is in pieces

the broken glass

of a shattered bus shelter

that no bus comes to

 

you watch the rainbows

draining down the drain

and you want to grab their coat tails

get dragged down with them

 

a piano played on the seabed

a kite that won’t lift despite the storm

a buried balloon

 

some days

certain mornings

nothing can be saved

 

the cold dark

curled against you

its sandpaper tongue

licking the length of your back

slowly revealing

the peaks of your vertebrae

 

a broken sparrow

circles in the dust

on the floor of your chest

 

the thin peeling walls

uncurl as they watch

 

 

 

 

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